Today I sit a little longer. I read one more inspiring passage to lift me up. I pray a little more fervently.
Today, finding that peaceful center of my being is a greater task than most days. Today I have more questions than confident answers.
What I know and what I believe hasn’t changed. Yet, as I sit in the questions rolling through my mind of the whys and the hows of life, I feel the twinge of doubt. I will likely never know the whys of life. They are the mysteries that lay deep in the heart of each person. I cannot give meaning to the sentinel and life altering moments in the lives of another. It is for each person to discern the deepest meanings of the joy, disappointments, or the losses of life.
I may never know the hows of life beyond my rudimentary understanding of physics, biology, chemistry, and cause-effect.
I search deep into my own heart to learn what waits for me beneath the feeling of doubt or fear. I seek the solace of the inner realm when I can no longer make sense of this outer realm.
As I sit, I feel the presence of that which is greater than the confines of my human self. I feel the knowing that although I have no answers for the sometimes seemingly random events around me, I also feel the rhythm and the order that is beneath all, even the chaos.
I don’t believe there is a supreme being floating in the ethers choosing from a capricious nature what will land upon my life or the lives of others. I believe and I feel there is an order moving in my life just as there is order moving in all of nature. The order of sleep and wakefulness, spring and summer, life and the passing of life.
My heart moves with the order of life from gladness to sorrow and then into joy once more. My days may move from peace and tranquility into turbulence and unrest only to return again to calm and stillness.
As I sit in the quiet moments of this morning, I hear the earth awaken with a cacophony of sound. The sun begins to peek over the horizon and my household begins to stir with the life of this new day.
I rest knowing that having the answers to the many questions of the how’s and why’s may elude me, yet I may feel content in what I do know. I know for certain that just as the chirping of the birds, the rustling of life awakes to the symphony of life. I too contribute to this day.
As the moments pass and the day emerges, the question comes as it comes each day, “How shall I be love in my world today?”
My time for sitting closes and I rise from my seat to walk my labyrinth. With each step I speak the words “present moment, wonderful moment, I have arrived, I am home.”
The world continues to move through chaos and calm. The lives of my friends and loved ones shift form turbulence to peacefulness. My heart grows full, only to be poured out, emptied and to be filled once more. I have no more answers to life’s deepest questions then when I began the day.
I do have a deeper sense of home, a richer feeling of faith and a stronger knowing that all is for purpose. Whether I know the purpose or wait patiently for purpose to be revealed, I believe there is a purpose in all that is.
Sunday we celebrate the Feminine Divine that moves in the universe. We will hear inspiring words of Myrtle Fillmore to guide our time of meditation. Please join us at 11:00 for our celebration service. I will share the story of “The Woman at the Well”
May your day be filled with Love,
Rev. Karen