I have recently participated in a virtual program by Tara Bach called Radical Compassion. I find her perspective to be
insightful and on point for many topics. Today I wish to share the idea of RAIN that is one of the foundations of Radical
Compassion. It may come as a surprise to know that RAIN isn’t about the wonderful droplets of water that fall from the sky
to quench and nourish the earth. This RAIN is something more personal and transformative for how we show compassion.
Tara’s RAIN begins with how we show compassion toward ourselves. It is my long-held belief that before I can be
compassionate, kind, and loving toward another, I must first be this way toward myself. I think that it is from the overflow of
compassion, kindness, and love within me that I share these qualities with my world.
Compassion toward ourselves opens us to the potential of being ever so more compassionate with others. If we are stingy
with self-compassion, how could we possibly generously share compassion toward others? It’s the same with my dollars
and cents. If I only have a quarter in my pocket, I can’t give anyone ten dollars even if that is my heart’s desire.
RAIN is an open and honest way to know what feelings are moving within us. We can use that space between the
experience and our response to create something beautiful rather than spewing our hurt and angst on to others. This asks
us to become vulnerable to take down the carefully built walls that we think will protect us and to live from our heart.
The acronym RAIN means:
R – recognize the feelings of the moment. Regardless of what the feelings might be, recognize them, and name them. If it
is anger, hatred, envy, call that name out. While we are not sharing these feelings into our space, we are honoring the
existence of the feelings within us. They are there, they feel real.
A – allow the feeling to be there. Rather than shoo the feelings away and disregarding them, acknowledge what feeling is
present. Allow it to be. I believe that our feelings come for a purpose. We needn’t be afraid of the feelings. They mostly
come to inform us, to guide, us and to invite us into healing and growth.
I – Investigate. Tara suggests that we use gentle curiosity to explore the feeling. Notice where in your physical body you
feel it. Notice the intensity of the feeling. Look deeply into the fullness of the feeling. It will be helpful to also look
underneath the feeling to see what might be inviting you into exploration, understanding, and wisdom.
N – Nurture the feeling by offering loving kindness and care. Tenderly assure yourself that it is possible for healing and
releasing to take place. Assure yourself that you are safe, that you are loved. Allow any shame or guilt to fall away and to
be replaced with loving-kindness and compassion for yourself.
After the rain, notice what may have shifted for you throughout the RAIN process. Rest in the presence of self-compassion.
Become aware of what has opened and released during the process of RAIN.
As we grow in our spiritual life, we often come to realize that others appear and tap our bruised and tender spaces. Others
may awaken a sleeping giant in us. I believe this is all for the good purpose of propelling us forward with greater
awareness and understanding. What we make of each life experience and each emotion that rises is our choice.
This process of RAIN is helpful in allowing us to feel our stuff and to manage it in a way that doesn’t spread pain to others.
It is sometimes said that “hurt people hurt others”. This may be true and there is another possibility. Hurt people can heal
their hurts and enjoy beautiful, healthy, wholesome encounters with others. What a marvelous intention for ourselves and
for our world. So, I say “let it RAIN”!
Sunday, we return to “The Book of Joy” by His Holiness the Dalai Lama and Archbishop Desmond Tutu. Join me at 11:00
am either on Unity on Greenville’s Facebook page or in person. If you wish to attend in person, please register here:
https://rsvp.church/r/efmz2i7f. The service will be uploaded to YouTube later in the day.
Much love and many blessings,
Rev. Karen