For the past week the topic of forgiveness has surfaced numerous times. I take that as a que to perhaps spend a little time with this idea of forgiveness. One of the first questions that comes to mind is this. “If God is absolute good and present in everything”, what need is there to forgive? If life is happening for my good, why would I need to forgive anyone for anything?
These are great questions. Indeed, God is unchanging Good in the realm of the Absolute, the Spiritual realm. And I, for now, live in the ever changing realm of this human experience. While I am a divine and spiritual being, I am having this extraordinary very human experience. In our human form and with my ego fully engaged and active, there are moments in life that our feelings feel hurt.We feel betrayed or wronged by another.
Much to ego’s amusement, there may be times that we are the offender of others. We may react to another rather than respond from a place of love.
It is said that Unity Co-founder, Charles Fillmore had a daily forgiveness practice. I have learned that forgiveness opens the door to allow the past to leave and makes room for all the good that is on its way.
The next question is, How do I forgive?
There are several forgiveness practices that I have used with great results. First, it is important to know who to forgive. For this, I sit in silent contemplation and I ask my highest self “Who am I to forgive?”. For more clear discernment, I turn to the powerful question learned from Rev. Edwene Gaines: “Who have I put outside my heart?” Then I sit in the silence. Sure enough, an image or a name rises in my awareness. Now I am ready to begin forgiving.
But how shall I forgive? When we desire to forgive someone who has transitioned from this realm, or someone whom we are not able to face in person yet, one practice that has been helpful is writing a letter. Calling upon spiritual discernment, you will know if you need to write out the details of the offense or just get down to forgiving. Write it all out with pen and paper. There is something transformative about handwriting (rather than typing on a computer) that moves and shifts our energy as we guide the pen and form each letter of each word. This practice commands our mindful presence. When all that needs to be said and forgiven is written, call upon the gifts of understanding, and large heaping amounts of discernment to know if the letter is to be sent.
When I have engaged this practice, I have found that writing the letter, getting it out of me and onto the paper, is sufficient. If the person is still among the living, there may be a time that you are called to be face to face to share and forgive in person. This process can be very healing and transforming.
To forgive someone who may have made their transition from this human realm, I have written a letter for me. It began with what I felt the offense was about. I then moved to what I learned from the experience and how it moved me to change or improve my life.
Of course there is great power in sitting side by side, speaking heart to heart and opening to the presence and power of the divine in each other. This sitting together and sharing words of forgiveness heals us at our core. It has been important for me to know that I am “safe” to use this practice.
I might add, that sitting with another, in the presence of The Divine, hearts wide open, miraculous things happen. Energy moves, hearts are emptied and then refilled with Love and tears fall. It is all so very good. Another practice of forgiveness that I engage often was learned from Rev. Edwene Gaines.
When Peter approached Jesus and asked: “How many times shall I forgive my brother? Seven times? ” Jesus replied “No, Peter, not seven times but seventy times seven.” This doesn’t mean we forgive 490 times. It means that we forgive until there is nothing remaining to forgive, until forgiveness is complete. For me, I know I am complete when I am in a space of gratitude for the experience and the person. Each person will have their own inner knowing of completion.
Taking pen to paper, I write longhand thirty-five times each morning and thirty-five times each evening for seven days (this is the seventy times seven) “I Karen, completely and lovingly forgive (name of person)” If at the end of seven days of writing seventy times, there is more to forgive, consider spending a few moments in the silence and inquiring with your highest self to know if there is someone else to forgive. Many times, there is no one except myself to forgive.
When I am forgiving myself, I like to write “I Karen, completely and lovingly forgive conclusions and judgments I have made.” At first, I thought this is very simplistic. Imagine my surprise when it became the most powerful forgiveness practice I use.
These are the practices that work for me. I am certain there is a practice that will open you to the power and transformation of forgiveness. One final question for today. Many wonder, how long does it take? To this I smile and say “it takes as long as it takes.” We may notice that the same experience or person comes back to our awareness when we think we have forgiven. Know that you have not erred in your forgiveness. It means that there is a new aspect that has risen in your consciousness. It means that there is a new depth of knowing that is ready to be forgiven.
The only way one can forgive incorrectly is to not forgive.
Sunday you will enjoy the inspiration and dynamic energy of Rev. Veronica Valles. You will remember Veronica as the gifted photographer who had an exhibit in our Gallery at the Gathering Place. Veronica will continue lessons from Tao Te Ching.
Blessings and love to all